"oh really, yeah me too"

I had a date last night. For once I wish I could say I had a date last night and not follow it with some story as to how horrific it was. But alas, that is not the case. It was awful. I knew it wasn't going to be great as soon as I met him at the restaurant, he had a lazy eye and bad teeth. My first thought was "seriously? How am I going to get through this dinner?", yes it's shallow but there has to be some level of attraction. I realize that perhaps I'm not in the position to be extremely picky, but I draw the line at lazy eyes. A girl has to have some kind of standards.

I really was determined to make the best of it, I had emailed back and forth with this guy for awhile so he couldn't be all bad. Right?

We started chatting and it was a conversation that could be compared to pulling teeth. However, I do believe that next time I'll opt for the teeth. Everything that I said he immediately wanted to agree with. He was trying to so hard to let me know how compatible we were and how great we were going to get along. I suppose I should give him credit for trying, I definitely have met guys who just don't care. It just reeked of desperation.

Aside from the desperation that was seeping out of his pores he had to be one of the worst storytellers that I've ever met. Each story started out with "you're gonna love this" and took at least twenty minutes to tell because of the long pauses as he was trying to remember what happened. I sat there wondering if maybe he had some kind of neurological disorder that caused the synapses in his brain to not connect quite right. Needless to say I did not love any of his stories.

He just kept talking, and talking, and talking. I told him a couple of times that I really needed to get going implying that he should pay the bill so we could go...nope didn't take that hint. He was too busy telling me how blunt and sarcastic he was. Really? Maybe it was all sarcasm when he was telling me that we had everything in common.

At one point he was talking about an ex-girlfriend and I can't tell you what the story was about because I got so distracted thinking about what kind of girl would actually date this guy. I was wondering how she got past the bad teeth and lazy eye, was she just much less shallow than me? Was she one that really believes that looks don't matter, and that it's what's on the inside that counts? Did she really think that he actually had a personality? Or was she just that desperate?

I finally escaped, and before I left the parking lot I had a text message from him telling me that he doesn't normally get caught up in conversation so much but it was just really nice to have someone worthwhile to talk to. That was nice of him, but I have to admit that I did not find myself caught up in the conversation.

Of course he wants to see me again. That is how my life works.

Did I mention he has a cat named "Buttons". Really? Buttons?